Be prepared.
Ensure you know all the facts in advance. Be as knowledgeable as you can about a subject, and be open to learning more. When you know that a situation is going to arise over which you'd like to have some influence, prepare your facts, do your research, do the sums, get the facts and figures, solicit opinion and views, be able to quote sources; then you will be able to make a firm case, and also dramatically improve your reputation for being someone who is organized and firm. Keep your mind alert; think out your business problems. Always try to be a few steps in advance of the other person.
Plan for the situation.
When you know you are going to be in a situation that has importance for you, anticipate the various scenarios in your mind, role-play in advance, so you don’t feel surprised or off balance. Anticipate other people's behavior and prepare your own responses in advance.
Visualize yourself behaving in a firmer manner.
See yourself “standing firm” when the occasion demands it; saying firmer things, asking firm clear, probing questions, and presenting well-prepared facts and evidence. Practice and condition yourself to resist, rather than cave in, for fear that someone might disagree with you or have a tantrum.
Project a confident image.
Just as you must think positively about yourself, to project confidence to others you must remain positive in your thinking and communications. You must think positively, because if your thoughts are negative, your speech and body language will reflect it. Thoughts are the beginning. It was once said, “Be careful what you think, because speech follows thought, action follows speech, habit follow action, character follows habits, and destiny follows character.” Confident people are positive people.
Communicating positively is more than just the words you choose. Regardless of your words, people will read and believe your body language. Open posture, eye contact and smiles project confidence, where closed posture, folded arms and lack of eye contact give negative messages. Stand up straight and do not stoop or slouch. Your posture and bearing project a message regarding your self-confidence. Listen to the tone of your voice. The exact same words, said in different tones, change the meaning. Listen to people you believe are confident, and distinguish the tone of their voice that helps project that quality.
Work toward ensuring your tone of voice projects the confident image you desire. Finally, act confident. Even if you are not confident in something, act as if you are. Acting confident creates a habit pattern, and the more you act it, the quicker you will become someone who exudes confidence like the best of them. Remember the old expression, “fake it until you make it.”
Be calm. The main thing you can do in any situation where you want to appear self-assured is to stay calm! Don’t be jittery – moving, talking or laughing too much. Force yourself to take slow breaths and clear your brain of everything except dealing with the situation in which you find yourself. If you add a moment of silence and calm to any situation – others will be calm, as well.
Have faith in your own ability. You don’t have to know everything or handle everything on your own, but if you tell yourself you are capable of doing something, you usually are! Tell yourself you are dependable, capable, and reliable, and you will be.
Practice self-confidence. You can increase your self-confidence through practice. Practice self-confidence in small situations. Perhaps it’s a simple as saying “hello” to a stranger in an elevator, or being the first to put out your hand for a hand-shake. Perhaps it means being the first to offer to take on a task when others don’t. Practice where no one will necessarily notice; where the spotlight isn't on you; where feeling a bit foolish won't undermine you. Look at the areas of your life where you don't feel confident, and see if you can identify the simple, unthreatening places where you could practice at being more self-assured.
Make self-confidence a routine in your life. The focus of the building self confidence routine is to eliminate all those distractions that are interfering with your concentration on the event at hand, and to put yourself into the positive, confident frame of mind that you want to present to others, whether in person, or via technology.
Use self-praise as a confidence building device.
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